Choices are Made
by ArynDaylight
Summary: Some scenes and snippets from the tragic lives of Lily Evans, James Potter, and Severus Snape.
1. Chapter One: A Choice is Made

Authors Note: This takes place around Harry's first birthday. It is just something that I wrote and am quite pleased with. I actually have a whole bunch of other stuff that I wrote. If I get a lot of responses from this I might post some more of it. This is just a meeting between Snape and Lily. It is the last time he ever sees her alive and I like to think that I got the emotions and stuff right. Perhaps my details aren't perfect. But I think this is a viable glimpse of what could have happened before Lily and James died.

Lily led Harry up the stairs of the playground smiling as he bounced in an imitation of a walk. They went over the unstable bridge that made tinkling noises as they passed over individual pieces of wood. Harry looked at Lily tremulously, terrified of the wobbly path. She smiled as picked him up and walked the rest of the way. She sat on the sliding ledge that was about waist high. She swirled around and scooted forward. Harry, seeing that they were about to go down the slide started to shriek with joy, his gumless mouth opened wide in unabashed happiness. They slipped down the hot metal slide, Harry squealing. Lily stood up and swung him around, laughing at his giggles and his attempts at speech, "Muh! Muh! Muh! CAAAAAA!"

"Yes! You like the slide don't you? Yes you big boy, we went down the slide." Lily spoke to him in a high pitched mommy voice. Harry's joyful face became confused as he glimpsed someone coming towards him. Lily hitched Harry onto her hip and whirled around grabbing her wand, pointing it towards the newcomer.

She froze as she saw who it was. Severus Snape seemed to always have that freezing effect on her. Terror mixed with betrayal and anger, with just a dash of hatred and love always made her brain cease to function. There were too many reactions available and it took her a moment to choose just one.

"Stay away from me Snape." She finally said her green eyes narrowed into slits.

"Lily. You've got to come with me. Please."

Lily looked at him directly and responded with all the ease of years of frustration and anger.

"No." Lily said simply.

"The Dark Lord…He's going to…" Severus seemed at a loss for words. "He's going to…" Ice seemed to grip Lily's stomach and her heart was somewhere around her feet.

"What? What is he going to do? Sev?" She asked dreading the answer.

"He's going to kill you!" Severus said vehemently.

Lily blanched and then shrugged. "What else is new? I've foiled him three times now. It's just a matter of time before he comes after us."

"Not you. That boy. He heard a prophecy and…"

"I don't hold much store by prophecies. We make our own destinies." Lily said this scornfully.

"A boy. Born at the end of July. Born to those who have thrice defied him. Lily. Can't you see?" Snape said a bit desperately. And Lily could see.

"But that could be any number of children. I wasn't the only one in the maternity ward that day." Lily said quickly. Snape shook his head, tendrils of hair flying every which way.

"No Lily. He thinks it him." He said jerking his head in the direction of Harry, who was pulling at his mother's hair and gnawing on an auburn lock. Lily's eyes turned slowly to look at Harry, widening in horror.

"I've got to get you out. I've got to get you away." Snape said grabbing her arm "Just get some clothes and leave Harry with James and get out! Get out while you still can!"

Lily's eyes which had been fixed upon Harry, suddenly turned to Severus. He took a step back as he saw the anger in her eyes.

"My child Sev? You want me to abandon him. And his father? So that I can live? There would be no life without them Sev."

"Take him with us. Just PLEASE!" Severus shouted desperate. "PLEASE! Just! Do it! I can't bear…"

"You can't bear what Sev? Me? Being dead? Well what about what I can bear? I would not be able to live without Harry. And abandoning James? I LOVE HIM SEV! WHY WILL YOU NOT SEE THAT!" She shouted at him. Harry began to wail. She gripped him under his arms and held him to her chest.

"I know honey. Mommy's sorry. It's ok. We'll be fine, Love." Harry seemed to take heart at the soothing words and buried his face into Lily's thick hair. She turned to Sev.

"I will not leave Harry. Or James. I made my choice. You made yours. But you can still change." With this she turned and placed Harry gently into his stroller and clicked the seat belt shut. She grabbed the diaper bag and as she was pulling it over her shoulder she turned again to Severus.

"Goodbye Sev. I know you meant well." She turned and walked away.

He ran to catch up and stood in front of her.

Snape broke Lily's heart one last time. It wasn't the same fierce agonizing pain that it was that first time. It wasn't the burning anger of the second. This third time was a dull throbbing farewell. A goodbye to the dear friend and almost love. In a strange way it was almost more painful than the others. It contained all the bittersweet memories that Lily had kept and buried in the back of her mind. This final tearing moment where heartstrings ripped, fell apart, and separated. The part of her heart that had clutched closely to the memories took all those burnished flickering memories and drifted away.

Lily let them go. She looked into the anguished face of her formerly dear friend and was finally able to forgive. Snape saw the change in her face. He knew what it meant. He misinterpreted it however. Forgiveness was given, but what he had always associated with Lily's absolution wasn't going to come. She wasn't going to come with him. He didn't realize this however, and his hopes soared so very high. She spoke before he could however.

"I've known that death has been coming for me for a while now. I knew it ever since last July when I faced You-Know-Who. I think it was always just a matter of time. It was always coming for me. I looked into the face of the Grimm and now I've got to face the music."

Hopes crashed, burned and died. Snape felt as though his insides had turned into ice. He could only take in tiny breathes of air. His feet wouldn't move but his hand reached out and touched a lock of her long red hair.

"Please…" he whispered.

Lily's emerald eyes gazed steadily into his dark eyes. "I'm sorry. I waited for you to make another choice for a long time Sev. But I moved on. Maybe if things had turned out differently. But we can't go back. I made my choice. I chose James. I chose Harry. You chose Him. Now I have to go."

Lily leaned forward, and brushed Sev's cheek with her lips. Harry gurgled and she moved back and adjusted the baby higher on her hip.

"It's too late for me Sev. But it's not too late for you. You can always change."

Lily walked away from the defeated and broken Severus Snape. She grabbed the cheerfully colored diaper bag and placed Harry into the little stroller and clicked the safety shut. She grabbed onto the handles and then murmured, "Occulo Inimicus" to hide herself from the eyes of enemies. She became somewhat blurry in Snape's eyes. But not quite.

Something within him snapped. As she left the park and became completely invisible to his eyes he came to an abrupt and terrifying conclusion.

Snape was not going to accept her death. He had seen the forgiveness. The warmth of her kiss was still upon his cheek. There was nothing that could stop his resolve. He would stop the Dark Lord or die trying. He took a very deep breath and decided to do the thing that filled him with more fear than the betrayal of You-Know-Who.

"Expecto Patronum" his thought was Lily, alive and laughing. With him.

The doe erupted from his wand. It ran the length of the park and then cantered back to him.

"Dumbledore. I must meet with you. This is a matter of the utmost importance."


	2. Chapter Two: A Little Piece of Happiness

Author's Note: I've decided that I don't want to write a whole freaking story. I'm in college and taking Some incredibly difficult classes. The thought of trying to write what amounts to a large novel gives me an anxiety attack just thinking about it. I've already planned on procrastinating. So this will basically be snippets and slices of life. Perhaps at some point I will connect everything and finish it. But I scenes of it written. So that will mainly be what I'm posting. If you have any questions about back story that I think that I've explained—but haven't—I'll fill in the gaps. I know everything that happens. I'm omniscient. *snort* Or rather I know what I want to happen, and what turns and details that the story I have in my mind has. If that makes sense…

This takes place during Lily and James' seventh year. They aren't together at this point. Yet. Heh heh heh. She has stopped treating him like he is a complete idiot at this point. They are friendly.

(As a side note…I suffer from insomnia. Some of the symptoms described in this chapter are based on many of my frustrations. I refuse to try medication though, I don't want to mess with my natural circadian rhythm or my pineal body. I tried melatonin once…I had a terrible headache and worse nightmares and woke up at 3:45 in the morning terrified that my roommates old roommate was going to crawl out of a lake and strangle me with her cold clammy decomposing hands. So that will not be happening again. But I have adjusted…it actually works really well with my school schedule.)

(Another side note. Sorry about the tangent. I do that. )

James couldn't sleep. It was the strangest thing. He had woken at 6:13 exactly and couldn't fall back to sleep. He had a strange nervous energy, that caused his heart to thrum and he had to get up. He quietly changed his clothes in the dark room. As he dressed he grumped about how this whole thing was completely ridiculous. It was Saturday morning. He should be sleeping. Unfortunately his body was ignoring his brain's very rational arguments. He grabbed his broom out of his trunk and started down the stairs. As he set off for the entrance he saw someone.

Lily walked down the hall completely oblivious to the world around her. She was rummaging through her notes, and trying to find the right paper, before the precariously stacked pile of books and papers fell. Of course the forces of nature all combined to help gravity pull down the haphazardly held pieces of parchment and books into an explosion of parchment on the floor.

As they fell Lily cursed internally as she looked at the floor that her items had so eagerly joined. Then she got down and started picking up the mischievous objects, which seemed to comprehend that there was a breeze in the hallway that they could escape on. They flew with joy at the newly realized freedom that only inanimate objects can express. Her bag—realizing that now was the chance for it to split open so that all of her bits and bobs could escape—opened and everything spilled out.

"AAAAAAAA!" Lily shouted in frustration as she made wild grabs at the dancing parchment and rolling quills.

As she dashed and tried to regain order and reap vengeance upon her possessions, she didn't notice the audience that she had gained.

James who had seen this entire episode, stared in wonder at her mad dash for her possessions before rushing to help. He grabbed some parchment and started piling everything into a semi neat pile. He grabbed for a book and because this was one of those moments, where everything that can possibly go wrong, will, he tripped and fell. Onto Lily. Who of course fell over as well. Now the way that he had tripped into her was a bit like a tackle. So she landed on her back with the wind knocked out of her and wondering what was happening, and he landed on top of her, which knocked more air out of her already oxygen deprived lungs and making it difficult for her to expand her lungs and diaphragm to inhale the necessary gases that bring about life.

Lily stared at the ceiling wondering how she had gotten there and why she couldn't breathe. Then a face came into view, one that had just realized that he might have seriously injured Lily, but not quite realizing that he was still on top of her and was worsening the problem.

"Lily? Lily? Are you OK? I'm sorry! I was trying to- and then I- and then you- and I can't believe- Oh I'm sorry- how-" James stuttered trying to explain.

And all Lily could do was look at the handsome face that was babbling at her bewilderedly. She emitted a breathy sort of grunt and James had evidently decided that she was alright, if a little dazed and realized that he was still half lying on her stomach. He got off and tried to help Lily sit up. Lily, who was still trying to get a grip on what was going on, held up her hand to ward him off and lay there breathing. James stood and tried to figure what he could do. The moment of insanity seemed to have passed and all the papers and books lay on the stone floor innocently. He started to pick up everything and put it into her bag and pile things into a tower that would not fall over. By the time he was done Lily had sat up and was looking at him curiously.

"What are you doing up at 7:00 on a Saturday morning?" She asked him.

He froze and looked at her. Her long deep auburn hair was tousled and slightly unkempt, and her green eyes were looking at him without any trace of anger or malice.

"Umm wha-OH! I couldn't sleep and so I was going to go for a ride on my broom. And then you dropped everything and then I tripped and got you down and now here we are…"

"Oh. I see…" Lily said, still looking at him curiously.

"Do you want to go on a ride with me?" he asked her looking unsure.

She looked up at him startled. "What?"

He looked even less sure of himself now

"Do you want to go on a ride with me?" He said gesturing vaguely in the direction of his broomstick.

"Yes." She said it and sat up so abruptly that he looked even more startled.

"What?" James said, startled at the abrupt tone and the affirmative answer.

"Yes." Lily said again just as quickly as before.

"Um. Right then. Yes. Then…Come on." James started towards the door, before stopping and turning to look and see if she really was coming. As she was still getting up from the floor, he was glad he had checked before walking out the door. He went back to see if he could help her up but she was already up.

Lily stood up and checked for any injuries from her fall. She readjusted her clothing and had picked up her meticulously piled books and put some in her bag. She looked around the hall as though hoping for some inspiration of where to put them. She realized that James was wondering what to do and waiting for her and walked up to a suit of armor. She knocked on its chest and said in a loud voice, "WATCH THESE! IF ANYONE TRIES TO TAKE THEM, CHOP THEIR HEADS OFF!" She stashed them behind the statue which creaked in agreement and turned to look at James. His face broke into a smile. She was a little caught off guard by how charmed she was. 'No good can come from this,' the little voice in the back of her head warned.

'Shut up,' Came the more dominate voice that Lily normally had conversations in her head with.

Lily half jogged to where he was waiting for her. They looked at each other for a moment as though unsure how to proceed and then started for the entrance.

"So, what are you doing up at 7:00 in the morning on a Saturday?" James asked after a moments awkward pause.

Lily smiled up at him. "Oh. I've been awake since five. Apparently sleep is something that only happens to other people. I usually get about four or five hours of sleep a night and its plenty. I have insomnia. It started getting really bad about two years ago. Now I've just adjusted. I usually go and study, or run around the lake a couple times before everyone else wakes up."

James looked down at her. He had never realized that she ran or that she had trouble sleeping.

"That's cool. It must be kind of nice, not to need that much sleep."

"Well, its ok. But if I get off my sleep schedule or I'm really worried about something, there is no sleep for Lily…and that is no good. Most of my embarrassing moments have happened while I've been excruciatingly tired."

James nodded. By this time they had come outside near Hagrid's hut. James decided that this was the time to come up with some sparkling conversation that didn't involve him tripping over his words and acting like an idiot. Unfortunately, words were not coming into his head. They walked in silence a little bit further before he finally said, "Well. Jump on!"

She looked at him uncomfortably. She hadn't really thought of how this was going to play out. Sitting on a broom with another person was not exactly like sitting on a motorcycle with another person. But here she was, and here he was. He didn't seem worried, so perhaps he had done this before. She climbed on and he got on in front of her. She put her arms around his waist and her chin on his left shoulder. His confidence rose, and he took the broom into the air.

He started off easily, getting used to the feel of another person on the broom. He decided to see how Lily would handle something a little bit more intense. He went into a sudden dive and she tightened her arms around his waist and laughed in delight. Spurred on by this positive response he did a few tricks and he loved listening to her laugh.

Lily loved flying. It was one of the best things about the wizarding world. The rush of wind in her face, and the feeling of freedom as she sliced through the air defying the laws of physics and gravity. She loved looking at the landscape below her. The scenery of Scotland is exquisite and this bird's eye view was incredible. James' antics were enjoyable and made her heart thrill.

They flew for quite a while. James started flying slowly and they were able to talk. He was in his element up here among the clouds and was able to make coherent charming conversation. Or rather, it was coherent and Lily was charmed and amused. They spent a most enjoyable morning, floating around the sky, laughing and talking.

They finally went back to the castle joking about something nonsensical. They walked into the Great Hall and to get lunch. The room was sparsely populated. They sat down to eat lunch. As they were dishing up food, Sirius sat down between the two of them.

"Nice to see you two getting along, OH! I love those!" said the handsome youth as he grabbed a blueberry muffin.

Lily smiled at Sirius and laughed as he began to shovel as much food into his mouth as possible. Having grown up with one sister, she had never been exposed to the sheer amount of food a 17 year old boy could ingest. It was disgusting and compelling. Where did they put all of it? James joined him in the savage scarfing. Lily grabbed a muffin and an apple and then excused herself. She wandered to where she had left her things.

There was a slight situation with the statue. Its instructions had been to stop anyone from taking her things. It didn't seem to think that she should be exempt from the instructions.

After some clashes of metal and some freeze charms Lily was once again in possession of her things. She headed up towards the girls dormitories. She was content. It was such an odd feeling to have. Usually she was stressing about school, boys, or something else. But today she hummed as she climbed the stairs.

Later that evening…

Lily sat on a plush loveseat in the deserted Gryffindor common room, staring contemplatively at the flames. It was very late and a book lay in her lap forgotten. She was quite blissfully spacing out. It was around 1:00 in the morning when James snuck in through the portrait hole stealthily. It snapped her out of her catatonic state. When she turned and saw it was James, she said, "Hello,"

James jumped and turned towards the fireplace. There was a look of panic on his face until he saw it was her. Then he turned on his charming grin in the hopes it would distract her.

"Hey Lily, how's it going?"

She smiled and turned back to the fire.

"Good. Where you been?"

James walked over to the small couch and sat down next to her.

"Oh…about," James said sprawling over the couch and putting his feet up on a footrest. He put his arm around the back of Lily's portion of the chair. He wasn't touching her, but she could still feel his arm. It was a little unnerving.

"Hmm…I wonder where you were. I wonder if someone is out in the halls looking for you. I wonder if I reported you…hmmm…" Lily let her voice trail off speculatively. James looked at her dramatically.

"What Lily! How could you betray me like this! After all that we have been through together! I cannot believe that you would leave me out to dry in such a fashion!" James said all this in a loud whisper, and ended up grabbing her hand with both of his and kneeling as he plaintively looked at her with large hazel eyes.

"Now there you are. Right where I want you. There is something so appealing about you on your knees. Subservient! That's the word," Lily said playfully.

"Subservient!" said James in a manner most wounded, "I'll show you subservient!"

What then followed was an entertaining amount of tickling and wrestling. Lily was not particularly ticklish, but James was. Whenever he got her into a hold of some kind, she promptly resorted to tickling. They were laughing loudly, and it was surprising that they didn't wake anyone up. He ended up pinning her with his chest, as he kept his arms firmly to his sides to keep the redhead from taking unfair advantage. Once she realized that she couldn't tickle him she resorted to other cheap tactics.

"James," she said breathlessly (he was on her stomach).

"Yes," he grunted.

She reached out and started to run her fingers through his hair. She rubbed his ear and started to caress his face. He turned towards her, very distracted by her touches. While he was thus entranced, she threw her hips up and he was thrown off balance. She wriggled away and stood up. She started to run, but James caught up to her.

"That was very unfair Miss Evans," he said putting his arms around her and pulling her tight.

"Very unfair indeed," agreed Lily who was flushed and laughing.

"Not to say that I didn't like it. But you know, that isn't the point," his arms loosened

"Oh? Then what is the point?" Lily asked. She turned around and looked up at him.

His hands rested on her waist. He really wasn't sure what the point was, so he did the only thing that he could think of.

He kissed her. He started to pull away, but then he realized that she had her arms around his neck, and was kissing him back.

What followed was quite a bit of passionate kissing. I shall spare you the details. I'm sure you are not in the least interested in young love and all of the sticky sweet particulars. Let us say that there was quite a bit of passion, heavy breathing, and tongue involved.

Once they were finished and were gasping for breath, James leaned his forehead against Lily's.

"Lily Evans. I am going to ask you once last time. Will you please be my girlfriend?" he held his breath awaiting the reply. Lily's mind was quite clouded at this point. But there was one spark of intelligence (or hormones) within her that shouted, 'YES!'

"Yes," whispered Lily to James.

"Fine. Whatever, it isn't that big of a deal—what?" James, who had been steeling himself for rejection, was caught off guard. He looked into her bright green eyes and looked at the smile on her face.

"Yes. James Potter I will be your girlfriend," responded the beautiful redhead. She had never looked so beautiful as she did that that moment.

"Oh. Well then," responded James who was still completely caught off guard. She leaned up and pecked him on the lips.

"Now. I have to go to bed. Good night," said Lily, who extricated herself from James' arms and walked up the stairs. James couldn't even think of a way to make her stay. He just looked at the staircase upon which she had disappeared and smiled.

He walked over to the stairs to the boys dormitories. He ran up the stairs, humming to himself quietly.


End file.
